Sunday, September 25, 2011

Pick up Lines

    Sometimes John has WAY funny experiences during his day at school or work.
I usually end up with some sort of funny email towards the middle of the day
that usually makes me laugh until I cry.
John is a very good writer. I keep telling him he needs to do something with his writing. 
I love the way he tells stories..
So I thought I'd share one of his recent experiences. 
This is the email I received :)

  I was walking past Old Main on my way to the College of Engineering Building today for my statistics recitation e note: this(sid is the statistics class that is taught by the guy from Asia who is understood by nobody in the class. "Hey Chung Ping, uh now that we have the averages and the graph is drawn and everything, could you possibly review with us how we can find the standard deviation?" "Yes...yes..." "Uh...ok, so...what are the steps again, for review?" "Yes...yes. Use histogram." "But...ok." Did I mention that he can't understand any of us either? The class is slowly dwindling and I am sure that students will start to only show up on quiz dates. Back to the main story.) when I looked up ahead of me, I saw a girl with longer, dark brown hair walking along the sidewalk carrying what looked like a 1 1/2 year old girl and had what definitely was a 3-year-old girl walking with her. They were walking on the south side of Old Main toward the Family Life Building, where Lily (3) and Audrey (1 1/2) attend developmental school.
     Now, hopefully you are all thinking, "Oh! That has to be Jennie taking Lily and Audrey to school! How fortuitous! What a happy little family reunion on this fine fall morning!" It's funny, because that's exactly what I was thinking, too. I started to walk a little bit faster so that I could catch up. Is that really them? It has to be. I recognized Jennie's goofy toes-out walk immediately, and the 3-year-old even had glasses! "Jennie!" I called out when I was about 15 feet behind the happy group. She looked over her shoulder to see who was yelling (probably because we are the only two people on the sidewalk) and I immediately notice two things: 1) it's definitely not Jennie, and 2) the 1 1/2-year-old girl (who I thought was Audrey) is actually a little dude with longer hair.
     I slow down and kind of chuckle, thinking this whole thing is really quite funny. "Sorry, I thought you were my sister." I say with a twinkle in my eye. It was at about that time when I realized that the twinkle in my eye was not reflected in hers. Awkward. "Don't say anything else! Just keep walking. She looks angry!" screamed the filter police in my brain as the words "Uh...yeah. Sorry, my sister has two little kids (in retrospect, that actually ended up being the smartest thing I did all day. Imagine if I would have said, "Sorry, my sister has two little girls that look just like your...son and daughter...") and they go to the school up here." I clearly thought that this follow-up comment had saved the day. Day far from saved. The woman just kind of stared back at me with this horrible look on her face. Then something happened that no stats (or psychology for that matter) major would have ever predicted. The woman looked at me and (seriously) said, "I look like your sister, huh? Do you know how many guys have used that one on me up here?" What?! I managed to say something like, "Uhhh, blerk Jennie sister..." and then I turned left and she went right, respectively, I mean, awkwardly. 
     I have since contemplated that encounter and the only thing that I can take out of it is the following: Is "Hey baby, you look like my sister." a legitimate pick-up line now?!?!?!?!? Is that what the world has come to, single people? C'mon now.