I woke up today pretty tired from my long night of disturbed sleep.
I didn't want to roll out of bed, but knew it was about that time because Brielle was in her room talking, screaming, crying, and calling for anyone that would get her out of her prision bed.
So I took a deep breath, stretched, and slowly got out of bed.
The second I opened her door I was greeted with that precious smile and the "Hi, Mama" that always melts my heart.
After I changed the poopy diaper and watched Brielle walk off to get some toys I had an overwhelming feeling of love wash over me.
I just felt so happy in that moment with my little life and my little family.
Sometimes I don't feel like I am doing enough as a mother.
I feel inadequate, and a bit puney (sp?).
I worry that I'm not teaching Brielle good things and that some days I'm just so tired all I do is let her eat junk food and watch Tangled 5 times in a row.
I feel like "maybe she's the only child I'll get because I'm not a good enough mom"
I worry that I am not taking advantage of the moments I can teach her about Christ, or the family, or the gospel in general.
I get bogged down comparing myself to other mother's who seem to have it down. Who can do all. Mothers who can keep a clean house, make crafts, dinner, and keep up with snotty noses all day long.
I get anxious that Brielle will be a bully and never stop pulling other kids hair or pinching.
I don't know what is the best form of discipline sometimes and feel like I'm not being consistant enough.
I worry I'm not patient enough to have any more children that I so desperately want to have.
Etc, Etc, Etc...
These are all the thoughts, and worries I have from day to day.
I like to think I'm not the only one who does this from time to time.
We know motherhood/parenting is SUCH a huge responsibility and we only want what is best for our children.
I say to all you mother's out there who think this from time to time...
STOP.
STOP.
Stop.
(Including me)
I read some of these quotes and they made me feel so much better and gave me hope that I am not complelety messing up Brielle's life and that I'm ok:)
(This is a quote from the talk given by Jeffrey R. Holland-Because she is a Mother)
"You are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient."
This is one for me to remember on those days when I compare what I have to what everyone else does...
"You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out. It will not be the money you have made. It will not be the cars you have owned. It will not be the large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be, How well have my children done?"-Pres. Hinckley
And the last one I loved for today is...
"Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value. Let your first interest be in your home. The baby you hold in your arms will grow quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days."-President Hinckley
So though I may just be speaking mainly to myself here, I think it's a good reminder to help us on those hard days. We are not perfect, but we can get a lot of help from our Heavenly Father who loves us and wants us to be happy and enjoy the life we have been given.
